So when I started doing shows at this theatre in Brooklyn, I did it because I missed theatre and I wanted to meet theatre people. I did a couple shows last season and I really enjoyed the experiences that went along with the shows. Each show came with it's own set of issues to work out but when we did, it made the show better.
I do crew for theatre so I can decide what shows I'm doing, not the director. I can offer to help and most times, I'll get taken up on it. But I do this all as a volunteer. There is no money involved; I do shows because I want to do shows.
The current show I'm working on, I knew I wanted to do when I heard that they were doing it a few months ago. So now I'm doing it, but it's not really fun anymore. It feels more like work. In theatre, things go wrong. They do. It happens. Last night we had some problems with some equipment. There wasn't a way for me to fix it during the show. After the show, when I already felt like crap for not being able to fix it, I get questions from everyone about what happened. I had to talk to the Stage Manager for like 20 minutes about what happened and she wasn't satisfied with anything I said. Now, if she already wasn't controlling and didn't trust me, this makes it worse. I don't need people to tell me things are going wrong. You don't think I know? I don't like being made to play defense while questioned after a long day and an equally long show. She kept saying she wasn't blaming me when it was clear that that was what she was doing. I've never really wanted a show to be over before, but I haven't had a show that felt like actual work either.
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