Going Away

I've never taken a long vacation from work and now my family and I are jetting off to Israel in a couple days and for some reason, it makes me nervous. Not flying or travelling, but maybe it's being away from my life for 2 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to the vacation and have been for several months. I just worry...not that they won't be able to get along without me at work. That's just it...I'm in the throes of a long and arduous job hunt and soul search and what if I come back...and they decide they don't need me anymore? I know this is just me being silly, but seriously...my boss hasn't given me the time of day all week except tp point out 2 potential mistakes (one I made, and one I proved myself right thankyouverymuch) and that's it. I don't feel taken for granted, not really, but I see my co-worker getting projects and such and I've been there longer and none are being thrown my way.

If someone asked me openly and honestly why I want to change jobs, I would have to say "Because I'm not growing in this environment." And it's the truth because I can't move up, my co-worker would get promoted before I do anyway and I just don't want to do this anymore.

Welcom to F*ckin Deadwood

So it's back. And it's the last fulls eason which sucks, but at least it's back now. I missed Deadwood. The Sopranos was disappointing...after opening the season with a bang (literally)...nothing really happened. You can always count on Deadwood for a number of intricate, eventful days.

As the characters we know and love were re-introduced, I tried to remember them all so I'll list them to see if there are any I forgot:

Al Swearengen
Dan Dority
Johnny Burns
Silas Adams
Doc Cochran
Trixie
Dolly
Seth Bullock
Martha Bullock
Charlie Utter
Sol Star
Jane
Joanie
Cy Tolliver
Leon
Con Stapleton
Tom Nuttall
Steve the hooplehead
Alma Garrett Ellsworth
Ellsworth
Sophia
EB Farnum
Richardson
AW Merrick
George Hearst

That's a lot. I'm sure there's more. I know Mr. Wu wasn't in this episode, either was Andy Cramed...but I'm sure they'll turn up. A hearty welcome back to the best (and dirtiest ;o) cast on TV.

Catching Up

So I've been somewhat remiss in posting recently...it hasn't been for a lack of noteworthy subject to pontificate about, more a lack of free time. I've always been one who liked having a lot of activity in my life and since I joined the working world, I felt that if I didn't have other things in my life beside work, then my brain would go soft. So I joined the book club, a knitting circle and work at the theatre. I recently began guitar lessons. Most people are like 'wow, you do so much, you're so busy.' But I feel like if I didn't have these other things going on, I'd be bored out of my mind!

A fews weeks ago, the theatre class that I interned for put on their show and it was a success. I really enjoyed being backstage with the kids- feeling their energy and excitement, helping them troubleshoot their costumes and being in a new space and going over their lines with them. That was the first time I felt a sense of fulfillment since I graduated from college.

So what does this mean for me? Well, I am entertaining the idea of going back to school...or droping out of tv all together and applying for a teaching fellowship in NYC. I guess we'll see what happens. However, at least I know that I can get fulfillment from somewhere after feeling empty for so long.