525,600 Minutes...Times 10

This Saturday marks the 10th Anniversary of RENT's move to Broadway. Yesterday, what they did was make all the tickets to the show $20. Guess who got to go :o).

I generally don't go see Broadway shows more than once because they cost so much money and I certainly don't stand for the whole thing. However, this was a different circumstance. I got an SRO ticket and I stood at the back of the orchestra, peering through a window-like opening. It was actually pretty cool. I could see the whole stage. I didn't have anyone tall sitting in front of me. But I think to stand for a whole show, you have to be riveted. Which I was.

The actor that played Mark, Matt Caplan, was incredible. He played up Mark's innate dorkiness, while still making him empathic. He and Roger's best friendship and later disappointment in each other was palpable. I wondered if the happy-go-lucky Mark from the 1st act could become the sad Mark in the 2nd when things unravel. And he did. He did it by changing his physicality from standing up straight to being sort of slumped over while he watches his friends fight at Angel's funeral. He did an over the top announcer voice to exagerate how ridiculous he thought working for Alexi Darling was.

My only complaint was there were a couple transition moments that the cast didn't milk enough. The moment after "One Song Glory," they launched right into "Light My Candle" without taking so much as a beat to let the power of the song sink in. And I liked the guy who played Collins, but I think his biggest problem was that he was not Jesse L. Martin...he didn't quite have the voice for Santa Fe since he was more tenor than bass...however, he sold me during "Without You" when he was nursing Angel. He wasn't even singing but if you were watching him, you could see that he had a moment of realization that Angel was not going to get better.

I had been wanting to see RENT again since I saw the movie and now I remember why the show was so much better than the movie...I did enjoy the movie. But. The show had something the movie did not: it felt spontaneous and exuberant. The movie was just too polished. Watching the show, you get a feel for Roger's pent up passion for his music and his frustration with his failure. His voice was raw and more of a growl than Adam Pascal's ever was, but when he sang "One Song Glory," he sold it with his voice and his body. In the movie, the actors sounded and looked good but since they were on the screen, their performances were much more muted. They didn't use thier bodies hardly at all while singing, except when there was actual choreography.

The crowd last night was a great crowd and even drew the cast out for a second bow. I feel like they had a talk beforehand and said, "Not much money will be made from tonight's performance, but it's the most important one. Most of these people have seen this show before. Make this time the most memorable."

Some Thoughts

So I've been inconsistent with posts, but things have been busy. Now there's a lull and maybe I can collect a couple thoughts:

I was feeling a bit crappy about my situation earlier until I got a call asking if I'd be interested in coming in for an interview...and that I came highly recommended. Let me tell you, there's nothing better for a boost than having someone call you about a job. I haven't heard about a previous opportunity and was beginning to lose hope and I got this call.

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I went to my friend's party on Saturday night, and I have to say it was really cool to get together with a group of different people. As much as I love my friends from SU, I have this sort of latent fear that they will up and leave NY and then I will have no friends. But I feel better about it after having been to the party and realizing I do have other friends.

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Another thing I was feeling crappy about was this guy I saw a couple times seemed to really like me, but I saw him like a couple weeks ago and he hasn't asked to see me since. We've spoken since, but nothing else has happened. I made the last 2 calls. If he wants to see me, he knows my number.

Seriously? Am I doing something wrong? I wish I knew. I try really hard not to seem needy or whatever, but would it kill people to follow through. I lay my cards on the table. No bullshit. Why can't people at least do the same? I don't get it.

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I was in on auditions for my show last week and as I watched these actors give their all to the audition, I couldn't help thinking how hard this must be. To wait for hours then get called back and wait againg, when there are maybe 20 parts to give away in the shows. Man. Performing is a tough life, though I still think there is some glamor in it and wonder what it would be like.

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I finished knitting the pieces of my poncho, my 1st big knitting project. We'll see how it comes out when I put it together with the girl who taught me how to knit.

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This is from a book that I'm reading, Loving Women by Pete Hamill: "If I can remember that time without the gauzy editing of memory, maybe I can make sense of all the years that followed, the stupid deaths I later saw and recorded, the friends I lost, the women I loved too carelessly or too well. But memory does not exist in any orderly progression, following the clean planes of logic."

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

This title is brought to you by the One campaign...Thanks, Bono ;o)

So I've been having these dreams lately and I've never had a recurring dream before...And it's not even like it's the same dream, but the same theme: Once I was on the subway and I was looking for my lost wallet. I was leaving for a trip and I hadn't packed. I was in a hotel and couldn't find my room.

I tried to Google dream symbols, but none of the lists were comprehensive enough to include what I was interested in...But I think what is basically boils down to is that in my life, I'm searching for something I haven't found yet.I know you're like, "Well thank you, Captain Obvious."

"As you were, Lt. Pain in the Ass."

Anyway.

I have a distinct feeling that this is job-related...especially in light of our newest team member...an avid micro-manager on a good day and an obsequious coporate lackey on a bad (you think I'm kidding? I'm so not). He and I had a confrontation last week and it was my 'I have to quit NOW' moment if there ever was one. The dreams had started before then, but they're coming closer together now than before. That then leads to the question of whether or not I want to continue doing what I'm doing, go back to school, learn something new...The possibilities seem endless, but I feel stuck. I shouldn't but I do.