Shopping

Going shopping while you're in the middle of existential angst is never a good idea. It stops being about whether or not you can afford the clothes or if the clothes look good and becomes about putting on different clothes so you can have a different life. How would my life be different if I had this jacket or these pants? Will they make me more successful? Or will I still be the same person in new clothes and another charge on my credit card?

Clothes don't have the power to change you. They don't. You might wish they did. I know sometimes I do. Sometimes I wish I could just change my outfit and I'd be the sexiest girl in the room. Or the smartest. Or the tallest (yeah, I know). I know all that about it's not what you wear but who you are inside and blah, blah, blah. Yes, I know. Anyone over the age of 12 has heard it more than 20 times. That doesn't stop a girl from hoping.

The truth is while pieces of clothing don't have the power to change your life, they do have the power to change how you might see yourself for a moment. What girl hasn't gone to the mall and tried on fancy dresses and pretended they were going to be accepting and Oscar? It's just me? I don't think so. Why do people hang on to a favorite shirt long after it is out of style? They do because it makes them feel good to wear it.

So had I decided to buy anything today, I would have been the girl who bought a blue jacket at the Gap with another charge on my credit card who is going through existential angst.